Every day I fight the feeling of being a failure as a wife and mama. And y’all it’s hard. Some days I feeling an amazing mom, my house is clean, my hair is done, and I feel like I’ve concurred the world. Well, the toddler world that is. But there are so many moments where I sob after putting my toddler down for his nap because we’re barely making it and it’s not even one o‘clock. I fight feelings of being fat, failure for not being able to buy my kids absolutely everything in the store, and the feelings of guilt because I’m having trouble balancing housework, nursing Emma, and playing with Luke. I decided to write a letter of encouragement to you moms who may feel the same way:
Dear imperfect mama,
You are enough. God created you to be the most mom that your kids need. They don’t need a ton of toys, they don’t need you to keep the impossible standards the world holds for moms, and they certainly don’t need a perfect person to mother them. They just need you. They need YOU with all of your mistakes, your shortfalls, your love, your messy house, your imperfectness. Only one perfect person walked this earth and even He gives us grace as we stumble through this life. Grace, mama. Give yourself grace.
Your babies won’t notice that you still need to lose ten pounds of baby weight, but they will remember hearing how much you dislike your body. They won’t care about your weight or how your hair was in a ponytail, but they will care about the lack of pictures you’re in. Our kids want to remember us, just as much as we want to remember them during that season of life. So give yourself grace mama and get in that picture! Be proud and love the body that carried those babies, and the body that works it’s butt off to keep them alive, fed and dressed every day. Because while it’s not perfect, it’s enough for your kids.
They won’t remember 90% of the toys they had growing up, but your kids will remember that you were too busy trying to keep those toys organized to really play with them. Minimize and simplify to make time for those precious moments with your babies. They’ll remember the moments where you chased them around the back yard, played catch with them, and blew bubbles. Kids don’t need stuff, they need YOU.
Parenting is exhausting so there is no need to beat yourself up about not being that perfect “Pinterest mom” on top of it all. Your kiddos love you for you. Build your own self-esteem so that you can build theirs. You wouldn’t want your baby girl to be embarrassed or have no self-esteem, so why would you do that to yourself? Find your worth in Christ, not by the imaginary standards Pinterest has set forth, and teach your kids the same.
So, have an extra cup of coffee today, leave the dishes in the sink and enjoy today with your kids. Even the Proverbs 31 woman had servants to help her with all her tasks! Get rid of that guilt, our babies don’t need perfection, they just need us- their imperfect mamas.